I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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