my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize