just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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