I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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