I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
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