yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize