What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
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I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
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why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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