I cannot find my penis.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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