Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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