i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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