Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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