Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
It's never too late to be topless.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize