Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
last night I used snow as a chaser
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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