Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
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