Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't put those talents on a resume
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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