but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
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I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
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We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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