Your face is a jimmy john
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
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