apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize