My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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