I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize