Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize