Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize