Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize