Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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