whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Randomize