The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize