babies were throwing up all over the place
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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