is your mom at the bar?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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