I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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