He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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