He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
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