Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Randomize