My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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