I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
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Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
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the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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