I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
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