you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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