He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize