So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
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Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
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She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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