Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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