Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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