Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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