he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
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