So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
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I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
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Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
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