I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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