Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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