I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize