pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
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I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
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