First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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