What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I pour the whiskey from now on
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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