Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
the raccoons are back...
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